Genuine Exam Answers submitted by Teenage Students

 Socrates was a wise man who helped all the people. They killed him. They made him take wedlock. After his death his career deteriorated.

 Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with his cutter.

 Julius Caesar’s dying words were “Tee Hee, Brutus”.

 An example of a couplet written by Shakespeare is Romeo and Juliet.

 Moses climbed Mt Cyanide to get his commandments but died before reaching Canada.

The above are all real answers, and so are these…..

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large  pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists 

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery               

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. the abdomen)?
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O, U

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor

Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport

Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
A. Hands that judicious get soft from the dishwater

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shriek wears on his head

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