Word Play
These are extracted from a book entitled
“Word Watching” by Alex Horne
Spoonerisms
“I’m going to break some bed” (baking)
“The cat’s just darted through the flat cap”
“Pass me the shitted feet” (making the bed)
“Know your blows” (offering a handkerchief)
“Fight the liar” (winter chore)
“Chipping flannels” (television grazing)
Anagrams
Dormitory = Dirty room
Canoe = Ocean
Schoolmaster = The classroom
Kleptomaniacs = Task policemen
The detectives = Detect thieves
This ear = It hears
Astronomer = Moon-starer
Eleven plus two = Twelve plus one
One hug = Enough
An aisle = Is a lane
The answer = Wasn’t here
Bedroom = Boredom
Testament = Statement = Men attest
Palindromes
A man, a plan, a canal – Panama.
Did I do, O God, did I as I said I’d do? Good, I did.
Marge lets Norah see Sharon’s telegram.
Pull up, Eva, We’re here, wave, pull up.
I’m Al – a salami.
Sums are not set as a test on Erasmus.
Doc, note, I dissent. A fast never prevents a fatness. I diet on cod. (This one
not in the book – created by one of Alan Turing’s underlings.)
Eleven “HADS” in succession
An argument arose over whether it is more correct to say “William had had a car
many years ago” or “William had a car many years ago.” It featured in a written
assignment. James preferred “had had”. Jones preferred “had”. This led to the
following statement:
James, although Jones had had “had”, had had “had had”; “had had” had had the
examiner’s approval.
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